Failed Attempt at Being Cool (Joek)

"Easy boy...don't mind me...just gonna try and pop a squat right...here..."

The large adolescent tiger laid purring loudly on the ground as Karma straddled his back, lowering her bum ever so slowly to try and sit on him. Her goal was to eventually train him to allow her to ride on his back like a horse. That would be so cool. The tiger remained motionless and lazy as she managed to sit entirely down. Karma grinned proudly and patted him on the head.

"Hmm...up! Giddyup! HA! HYAH!! Come on! Go! Ho! Lo! What the hell..." Karma pouted and bounced around, trying to get the big cat to stand up. Instead, he did his cat thing and roll onto his side, squishing her leg against the ground. Karma rolled off of the animal and crawled her way out from under him. The genie grumbled and pushed on the cat, trying to coax him to stand up.

After a few grunts, Klaun ceded and did as commanded. When standing, he was about at hip level. Not too ideal as a mighty steed yet, but he still had some growing to do! Karma swung her leg over the gray-scale fur back, and seated herself comfortably. He stumbled around a bit, but remained. Karma started to squeal, "JOEK! LOOK! I DI-" with that, Klaun sat and Karma fell head first onto the ground, toppling over herself.

Klaun simply kept purring.

There was a very loud crash as a plate smashed against the stone wall. "NO NO NO!" Another smashing plate. "Look at me. Look. No." A gloved hand snatched from the back of the stone throne, grabbing the poor guy standing beside it.

"Who do I look like to you?"
"Joek sir."
"A joke?"
"No sir! You are Joek!"
"I assure you... Im not joking."
"I know sir!"
"Then why is it... that we have lost half our forces?'
"I just told you.'
"Oh do tell me again... hopefully it'll have changed."

The man was sweating, the gloved hand still grabbing his shirt.

"The guard were tipped off."

With only an instant later, the man was lifted from his spot and slammed on the table beside him, and slid until he fell to the floor crumpled.

"Well then. I suggest we find the rat..." He leaned in close, "Best to start with you. What's the password?"

The man under his hand gulped. "You haven't chosen one yet."

"That's not it." A flash of metal and the man was now pinned to the floor, a blade through his forehead.

He stood up, his face a complacent steadfastness to it.

It was then that he turned to Karma, to see her slammed onto her face. "My. Your grace never ceases to impress Karma." He waved a hand, asking for the body to be removed.

He ran a hand through his hair, leaving a small red streak through it. "Karma. Tell me, why. Why won't the people here crumple as they did In Shayz? Who's a man gotta kill to get some respect?"

Karma staggered a little, rubbing her head to soothe the pain, "Yeah I tend to impress myself, too." She made her way to her own special chair and plopped down. Klaun made a little noise and scampered after her, crawling into her lap as if he were a cub again. She accepted it and patted his back, her face barely visible behind the big animal, "I dunno. Maybe the people here are just more used to dangerous criminals than back in Shayz. Hmm...what if you found another crime ring and killed their leader? We've pretty much taken over but I'm sure there are a few rat nests left. Or maybe something bigger...one of the Senators?"

Joek tapped a finger to his chin. "Rat's nest... Senators... No." He gave a wide eyed look at the girl. "Perhaps. What we need. Is to remind the people here why I'm as good at what I do as I am!" He clapped his hands together, stepping toward the girl and grabbing her face by the chin. "Oh you are brilliant. Truly, magnificently inspired!"

With a laugh he skipped back to his table, clapping his hands and calling them all in.

"Hello my friends. I'm sorry to tell you all that Calvin is no longer with us... Yadda yadda sad sad. Now. Mourning is done! It's time for our newest little... Treat."

He Looked through the room, sitting on the table. "We are going to kill the king of Luxur."

A hush went through the crowd.

"What? It was Karma's idea."

The group turned to the girl, most of them white as a sheet.

Karma whined at him when he grabbed her face and tried to stick out her tongue. When he skipped to gather the folks she continued to pet Klaun, scratching him behind the ear. Suddenly she heard it...and then the silence. She snapped her head up and stared blankly.

"What? It was Karma's idea."

Even Klaun turned his head to look at her! Karma made a face and pushed him off, standing up straight, "Oh that is a LIE! I never said that! I said let's kill a Senator, not a King."

Nobody looked away from her. How could they? They would DARE believe her word over Joek's? Karma crossed her arms and glared at him, "Ok hotshot, how are we going to go about killing a King?"

Joek smiled at the group, holding a finger to his lips. "That.... is a secret." He giggled low, grabbing a couple of guys by the collar and taking them into the other room.

A few minutes later, Joek came stepping back out, the other guys taking of running down the tunnel as fast as their feet could take them.

"Alright. Now I can tell you. We'll simply tell them!" He smiled to Karma, making his way toward her. "Tell everyone. Joek is going to kill the king. Kill him dead. Deader than dead can beeeee!" He looked toward the group. "Kill the King. OH. That'll be the password."

With a step, he headed toward the door, opening it. "Go on! I'm going to do it tonight before the king has time to leave."

He looked to Karma once they were alone. "So. Where'd you get the Tiger from?" He blinked, slapping a hand to his head.

"Oh that's right... I got it for you... Wait... Wasn't that last week? No.... When was it? He was a cub then.... OH it's been 2 years! Time flies when you are having fun!" He headed over toward her, grabbing her by the hair and tugging gently.

"Tonight we kill a king, and by rights, take the kingdom. How do you feel about that?"

Karma just made a grumpy face and zoned out while he did his antic until he returned. At this point, it was hard for him to surprise her but through thick and thin...he found a way.

She snapped back to when he mentioned her tiger and felt her heart drop.

He...forgot?

She had learned to accept being second in concern...sometimes third...but she didn't expect him to actually be able to forget something like that. Karma kinda figured it to be something special.

He grabbed her hair and tugged it a little and she looked up at him, letting her sadness fall away. His smile was so special, it made her happy to look at it. Karma shrugged, "It's kinda neat I guess...I call dibs on the royal bath first though!" She let out an evil cackle and ran off to her room to grab her...uh...toys...before coming back out.

Joek gave a wave of the hand, stepping his way outside and walking his way down the street, the sun was just starting to come down. He stopped by an apple stall, picking one up, dusting it off and taking a bite. The cart owner held out a hand, expecting to be paid. "Oh but these are dark times. I'll trade you. Free apples and a small fee a week and I'll have you protected from the evil Joek."

"Never heard of em."
"Oh, but he's the one who killed the king."
"Killed the king?"
"Well yes. Haven't you heard?"
"The King ain't dead."
"Alright then. Yet."

The man gave a confused look, but still managed to catch the coin from Joek as he continued walking.

It wasn't long before Joek was standing by the palace walls. still eating his apple, sitting on a barrel.

"You. We are supposed to be looking out for you. Heard rumors you were gonna be attacking the castle."

"Rumors?" He hopped off the barrel, looking at the swords drawn on him. "Rumors are a funny thing. Truly. I mean one moment we are talking about apples and sunshine, and the next, poppycock... Such a funny word, isn't it? Poppycock. Where do you think that came from?" The guard took a step forward.

"Come with us, or we'll have to get rough."

"How can I come with you? You'll have your hands full."

"What?"

"You see at this moment, the king's elite guard has just been replaced by... Oh... I'd say a couple men who told them the king was so grateful he wanted them to have the evening off. It was after this that a messenger... Just one.... Made it to the king, telling him of the uh... rumor From there, the king, as kings do. Decided it was a good time for him to visit the neighboring villa where his private quarters are. Though strangely, he had a much smaller guard due to short notice... Just... Two. Which would have been the two that are currently enjoying whores and beer. "

He pointed behind himself. "In that pub I believe."

"Then. I'd say that those two men, being that which they are, my men, have taken the king back to a secure location."

The guards were having trouble keeping up with this. "You have the king?"

"Well. Yes."

"Where is he?! Jameson, go see if he's right."

The guard took off while the others kept Joek at sword point.

When he returned, white as a sheet, Joek took a step back.

"The King sir... He's gone."

Joek smiled once more, shrugging his shoulders. "I believe your swords should be sheathed at this point."

They stayed where they were.

"If I am able to take your prized king in a few hours, think what would happen to you if I were harmed?"

The group gulped.

"Now then, I'll be requiring the palace. I need only until the sun rises. The king will be returned, and you'll all know who truly owns the city. Yes?"

The guards be grudgingly let him pass. With a flourish, he waved for Karma to make her appearance. "My lady, your bath awaits you."

Karma watched the exchange with a blank stare. Part of her could hardly even believe it worked. Seriously.

What.

The girl laughed when the guards did the smart thing and bounded up to Joek, "I cannot WAIT to sink my nasty dirty rat feet in that bath!" She patted the pauldron on one of the guards as she skipped on by.

Karma jumped up and down with glee as she and Joek walked onward, "WOW! What the fuck was that?! You know you never cease to amaze me! Oh wow, this is going to be great!! What are we going to do? We should eat all his food. We should sit on every surface of the palace. Oh oh oh I wanna sleep in his bed! I bet it's huuuuge."

Joek stepped inside the palace, nodding to the servants and the others, keeping Karma close to him as they made their way up to the room. "Alright. You have until sunrise... Then the King will be returned to the palace... The rockslide that was placed in his path won't keep him from returning home in the morning..." He gave a deep chuckle, closing the door.

"Guards like to assume the worst in situations. I haven't kidnapped a king, the royal guards know much better than to have a night off without consulting the king himself. No. Much easier to scare him to leave, only to be blocked at such a time of night so far away that it'd be insanity to turn back without waiting for sunrise." He chuckled to himself.

"Rumors... Rumors are an important thing Karma, never forget that. We keep up appearances. We kidnapped the King, stayed in his palace. Surely, that constitutes that we can do as we please in the city? The King doesn't give public speeches after all, and no one will believe him if he does. Thinking he's just trying to save face." He ran a hand through his hair, sitting in his chair. "We would be best to leave.... fairly early tomorrow. So enjoy!"

"Oooooh you sneaky devil you." She grinned widely and shook her head. Again...he never ceased to surprise her.

Karma hopped over to the bath and stared open mouthed at it. It was huge and made of marble. She ran back out and grabbed one of the maids, "Hey! Heat the bath. Please? Err, I mean, now!" The woman stared but did as she was told, and hurriedly brought coals in to start warming the water.

While the water started to head, Karma stripped her clothes off and flung them to the side of the room along with her boots. She could already smell the stink on them. Karma stuck her hand in the water to test the warmth and made a face at Joek that said "I am so ready for this" before sort of oozing into the bath head first.

She popped up for air and wailed, "This is amazing!!" The water was already pre-scented with a lavender oil and felt slick on her skin. She splashed around like an idiot for a little bit before finally relaxing and swimming over to the edge, "Well I'm having a blast, what are you going to do?"

"Well first, the spoils need to be shared." He looked out the window, smiling at the group of people running through past the guards and into the palace.

"Here they are." He left Karma to enjoy her bath, running down and holding out his arms to the cheering henchmen at the base of the stairs.

"Did I not deliver?" The servants were all gathering around as well. "I have the king in my custody, his only ransom, we all get to be kings for one evening. Now then. Have your spoils... The downstairs is yours. The upstairs is my own though. Enjoy!"

He ran upstairs, the servants running out and Joek cackling as he closed the door behind him. A bit of mayhem went a long way after all.

With a stretch, he walked through the king's bedroom, Karma's bath tub being in the same room.

"Amazing how modest our king is, no?" He ran a finger over the books. "Lots of fairy tales..."

He looked at the bed, having a sad look cross his features. He had just tricked the entire city, solidifying his place as the head of the streets... But all he felt... was tired. He closed his eyes, and a flash of blood, lifeless eyes. He opened his eyes again, looking out the window.

Even as a king, this place wasn't home.

Karma sang to herself while he went and did his Joek business and stopped when he returned. She was starting to get pruny but was not ready to get out just yet. Her massive smile faded a little when she saw his expression and sunk into the water slightly, "Joek...what's up?" His behavior inspired her to climb out of the tub and wrap the silk-linen around her. She walked up to him and set her hand on his forearm, "Hey...you ok? Come sit on the bed, I bet it's squishy and comfy. You've been on your feet all day."

Joek stepped over to the window, taking in a deep breath, looking over at the bed and shaking his head. Last thing he needed was to slit Karma's throat in a fit of madness and sleepwalking... No he'd done that enough times to know.

"I think... I'm going to head back. Enjoy your spoils dear." He grinned at her, stepping out the window and sliding his way down a nice spiral escape ramp built in. "Oh and the King will return tomorrow around Noon... should probably clear everyone out by then." he smirked, hitting the ground with his hands in his pockets.

"Good day." He began walking his merry way down the street.